Wednesday, February 13, 2013
A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying...ROCK!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Tempest in a Wine Glass:SBL#178 De-Obfuscates the Top 5 News Story of the Week
The police officer asked the man for his license, but the only paperwork he had with him was a German I.D. card. Anywhere else in the nation, the cop might have issued the man a citation. Not in Alabama, where a strict new law requires police to look into the immigration status of people detained for routine traffic violations. Because the man couldn’t prove he had the right to be in the U.S., he was arrested and hauled off to the police station. The businessman turned out to be an executive with Mercedes-Benz, one of Alabama’s prized manufacturers, Bloomberg Businessweek reports in its Nov. 28 issue. The Mercedes plant employs 3,400 people, and the company’s much-heralded decision in 1993 to build cars in the state encouraged Hyundai, Honda, and Toyota to follow. Mercedes has downplayed the incident, calling it “unfortunate” and refusing further comment. Yet word of the arrest spread quickly through the state, amplifying a growing sentiment among many politicians, business owners and citizens that the immigration law, intended to drive off undocumented workers and free up jobs for the unemployed, is too strict and damages Alabama’s reputation as a place to do business.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Joke of the week, Volume 26:"you'll eat a muffin, you'll eat it and like it.."
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Celebrity Haiku Volume #71- My Stanley Cup Hangeth Over
After the glorious season that was last year, capped by a fantastic Stanley Cup victory by the Big Bad Bruins. Clode's boys seem to be suffering a mild psychological let down. Nothing another Duck Boat parade can't fix. But alas, it is time to get back to the business of defending said cup. Lord Stanley waits for no man, as they say. So, in that spirit, Clode contributes this most recent Celebrity Haiku, as always torn from today's headlines. Hopefully this will improve the B's thus far dismal performance. Look! I haven't even finished this post and the B's are, at this moment, leading the Leafs 3-1. See?! Thus it is proved...
I love a parade
Would you like to see the Cup?
Sweet-est hangover
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Celebrity Haiku #34: Al Davis
"Come to the Dark Side"
Friday, October 07, 2011
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before
Listen to my words you ''pink hatters', that is what we do here in Boston. That is what we have always done. Let me tell you a story. In 1978, I was a freshy freshman at Nokomis Regional High distracted from my studies by the baseball pennant race. In late July, the Sox had a seemingly insurmountable 14-1/2 game lead in the American League East. There was absolutely no doubt they would take the division and go to the World Series. Alas, on September 7, incredibly, their lead was down to 4 games entering a final four game series with the Jeezily New York Yankees. As you may have known or can guess, the Yanks went on a rampage in the series, scoring 42 runs on 67 hits, while the Red Flops commited a dozen errors and were uncerimoniously swept. That, children, forced a very rare one game playoff to break the tie and see who would go to the playoffs. The Sox of course lost the game, painfully and dramatically, off the bat of the Yankees diminutive shortstop, known as Russell Earl ''Bucky Fucking'' Dent. He homered, and my childhood hero Carl Yastrzemki watched it sail over the Green Monster. I saw it all unfold, right there in Mr. Lane's biology classroom. He brought in a TV and let us watch, thus scarring us for life. Thanks Mr. Lane.
In any event, 1978 was not the first year the Sox choked on such an epic scale. Review your baseball history books. In 1941, the Red Sox painfully folded against the Cards. You remember, Peskey held the ball. In 1967, same thing, same team. Cards ace bob Gibson kick the Sox asses and again the Sox fold. What is this, some kind of a curse? In 1975, the Red Sox played in what many consider the best World Series ever. They lose painfully and dramatically to the Big Red Cincinnati Machine. Later in Red Sox history, there would be even more epic fails. In 1986 there would be Bill Buckner and Mooky ''Fucking'' Wilson. In 2003, there was Aaron''Fucking'' Boone. Must be the curse.
Then there was 2004. And 2007. Great yes. Historic, yes. Life altering, you bet. But alas, Boston is still Boston. As great as the two world championships were, it is kind of comforting to be back in the drama. I t must be why people like Opera. Nothing like a good tragedy.
Anyway, whatever happened to precipitate such an enormous implosion this year, causing the Bosox' early exit, is just as elusive as the causes of 1978 or 1986 chokes. Maybe the pitching staff was out of shape, or drunk, or both. Maybe it was the pitching coaching staff. Maybe it was Papelbon. Maybe it was Francona. He always has been a ''player's manager'' and a little soft. Maybe it was the fat lazy complacent overpaid superstars who just could not be concerned enough to play hard or play together. Maybe it was wonderkind GM Theo Epstein, whose every off season and free agent deal amounted to about doodly squat. I mean, seriously, Carl Crawford has had less than a career year. And Erik Bedard? Fugetaboutit! It really doesn't matter. The iportant thing is that somebody has got to pay. Even though Francona is really not to blame, he must be ridden out of town on a rail. Who in Hell we are going to replace him with is an irrelevent consideration. Theo needs to go too. Probably he'll head to Chicago. Hell, why not take Tito with him. Win them a World Series. They're due. Papelbon? His head needs to be on a pike at the city limits. Okay, well, at least don't renew his contract. We'll have to keep Papi andWakefield-just because.
Yes, Red Sox nubes, changes are needed. Change is in the air. Sports talk in Boston will be heating up the hot stove early this year. This is what it was always like, every year, before 2004. Perhaps you hadn't heard. You'd better get used to it. At least now maybe I can get seats to a game at Fenway for under $200. It'll be just like old times.
I wonder if I still have Grady Little's number.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Joke of the Week Vol. 76
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
It's only a Game, it's only a game, it's only a game....
For one thing, let's get this straight. The Jets did not beat the Pats Sunday. The Patriots lost. They threw up on their shoes. They peed their pants. They dropped a deuce. Sexy Rexy and his rag tag band of miscreants had not much to do with it. Yes, yes, they played some defence. Wowee!! That's part of the playoffs. But the Pats laid a big fat egg. I've been afreared of this happening all season long, the day when the wheels finally come off the cart. It just double-sucks that it had to happen against Rex Ryan and his little ''foot soldiers'' from Gotham. Now all I can hope for is for Big Ben and the Steelers to crush and humiliate the Jets and then fall on their own swords in shame. I have absolutely no rooting interest anymore as of about 7:30 PM the other night. Even in the NFC, I have about equal measures of hatred for both Chicago and Green Bay. None, I repeat, none of any remaining teams have any interest for me at all. I've explained to loyal readers of SBL#178 tha I am a true Boston homer, provincial and parochial. Me and Sully from Southie hate outsiders, especially when they beat our teams. You put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of yours in the morgue. In 1986, the Bears pasted the Patsies in the Super Bowl. Now academic is the fact that anyone who came up against the Super Bowl Shuffle Bears that year would also get pasted. But, jeez lousie 46-10!? I still shudder when I hear the names Tony Eason, Walter Payton, Jim MacMann or Refridgerator Perry. And Green Bay is no better. In Super Bowl XXXI the Cheesy bastards beat my Pats a la Brett F#^*ing Favre and Desmond F*^&@ Howard. I have since had little love for Green Bay, even though I have a soft spot for the old gunslinger Favre, being an old gunslinger myself. However, my man crush on Favre aside, I hate the Pack. They are dead to me. And the Jets??! Fugetaboutit!!!! Firstly any team from NYC has already earned my disgust. Add to it that toe nibbling knucklehead of a coach and his band of jive talking, over achieving chumps, and you have a team anyone outside of New York has to hate. I told you. Boston fans are petty, uinforgiving and mean.
So, no fans, I will not be sitting around watching the Hyperbowl this year. At least not for the football. All I can hope for this year is a wardrobe malfunction to make things interesting. Now, alas, I can get back to thinking about the important issues in life. Chiefly, ranting abut how much I hate the Yankees.
So enjoy your little moment in the sun Jets fans. If anybody is interested, I'll be up to camp ice fishing. Non illigitimi corrundum.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Celebrity Haiku Vol.56: The 'Hoodie' versus the 'Footie'
It is what it is
The Pats will cover the spread
I loves me some feet
-Bill Belechek/ RexRyan