Celebrity Haiku Volume #71- My Stanley Cup Hangeth Over

Bruins Coach Claude ("Cload") Julian

After the glorious season that was last year, capped by a fantastic Stanley Cup victory by the Big Bad Bruins. Clode's boys seem to be suffering a mild psychological let down. Nothing another Duck Boat parade can't fix. But alas, it is time to get back to the business of defending said cup. Lord Stanley waits for no man, as they say. So, in that spirit, Clode contributes this most recent Celebrity Haiku, as always torn from today's headlines. Hopefully this will improve the B's thus far dismal performance. Look! I haven't even finished this post and the B's are, at this moment, leading the Leafs 3-1. See?! Thus it is proved...

I love a parade

Would you like to see the Cup?

Sweet-est hangover

C. Julian

Celebrity Haiku #34: Al Davis

Erstwhile Raider owner Al Davis

Al Davis was known by a lot of adjectives over his legendary career in Oakland, some not prudent to repeat on this family oriented blog. We'll call him 'plucky' and leave it at that. Any case, before his untimely passing yesterday, the irascible owner (yes, that's it, we'll call him irascible) penned this appropos Celebrity Haiku. RIP Al.

"Come to the Dark Side"

"Full-y Op-erational"

"Wipe them out, all of them"!

-Darth Sidious,...errr Al Davis

Celebrity Haiku Vol.56: The 'Hoodie' versus the 'Footie'

Now that the Pat's and the J-E-S-T, Jest, Jest, Jest's are going to meet agin for the thrid time this year, and by the way, the Pat's will win, the pedantic New England coach and the 'podiatric' New York caoch figured it might be a good time to quickly collaberate on a Haiku before the big game. Good luck Rex, and get ready for some more 'Hard Knocks'.


It is what it is

The Pats will cover the spread

I loves me some feet


-Bill Belechek/ RexRyan

Celebrity Haiku #35: The Old Gunslinger

Now that the old River Boat gambler has probably played his last game, he has more time to pursue his muse.Including his passion for Haiku. Here is his first forey into the ancient Japanese verse form since his ass was knockeed out of the game last week.

It's aw-some, aw-some!

Those aren't my cell phone pictures.

This time it's for sure.

-Brett Favre

Celebrity Haiku Volume #58, "Can I get a Mulligan"?

Mega golf-star and close personal friend, Tiger Woods, has been spending lot of time spinning and blogging of late. He submitted this Celebrity Haiku, reflecting on recent events.

Wow, a hole in one!

Damn it all, caller I.D.

What cocktail waitress?

Celebrity Haiku Vol,#86: " Hikin', my EYE"!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford reflects on his recent misadventers with this introspective Haiku. Haiku ripped from the headlines!

I was on a hike!

CRY for me Argentina

Well, KIND of a Hike...

Gov. Mark Sanford

Celebrity Haiku Vol#34:"It ain't over 'til Big Papi swings'' Edition

With this month's rendition of the ancient Japanese verse is Slumping sluggers David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, a la Thelma and Louise...

"The cream or the clear"?

No way man, seventy games...

Hey Papi, I tell you what...

-Papi

Celebrity Haiku Volume # 89: Teddy Ballgame Edition

As the distinguished Senator from Massachusetts prepares to throw out the first pitch at Fenway Park last week, he ponders his long, illustrious career and coins the latest of our celebrity haiku. He is spartan in his implementation of the ancient Japanes verse and us Mass-holes love him for it.

Where the Hell am I

Who the Hell is the Black guy?

Mary Jo Ka-who?!

-Senator Edward Kennedy

Celebrity Haiku Volume #13: A-Roid Edition

How can you tell if a baseball player is lying about steroids? Their lips are moving. It's been a while, but here tp present his take on the ancient oriental form of poetry is Alex Rodriguez, Erstwhile Hall of Famer and hated Yankee.Really, Alex, what really happened...

I was young and dumb

My cousin injected me

I am the Walrus

-Alex Rodriguez

right...coo coo ca choo...

Celebrity Haiku, Volume# 34: Shrill Desperate Harpie Edition

I don't know, depsite the fact that she comes off as a castrating, caterwalling, b-i-t-c-h-... I kind of like her. Anyhow: with the Democratic Party's second representation of the ancient Poetry Style, here she is...

Bill, where have you been?

Not going out dressed like THAT!

Missed it by THAT much

-Hillary Rodham Clinton

Celebrity Haiku, Vol.# 86: Unelectable at any Speed

Now we got us a Presidential Race. Add to Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dull....

I just switched from Undecided to Independent. I never met a lost cause I couldn't get behind. This way I get to stay a bleeding heart liberal AND make my Republican friends happy.

In it to Win it

Can anyone say Debate?

Un-el-ect-ib-le

-Ralph 'Mr Fun' Nader

Celebrity Haiku Vol.#8 '...Am I still in the Box?...'

In the interest of bi-partisanship, here is the leading Republican candidate with his expression of the ancient art of Haiku. 'Back in the ooooold days, we din't have no hay-ku'!

Who the Hell are You?!

Where are my Damn pajamas?!

President?!... of What?!!!

-Senator John McCain, Arizona

Celebrity Haiku Vol.#6: Caucus THIS!

In the first of our series of topical election related Haikus, the Democratic Party's sassy young upstart Barack Obama interprets the ancient Oriental poetry discipline. Keep hope alive!!

Dude, you are handsome

I am the agent of change

No, you're the man!

-B. Obama

Celebrity Haiku Volume #45: Evil Empire Edition

Now for this week's expression of the ancient
oriental art form is the erstwhile Yankee skipper
and all around great guy.

Start spreading the news

I just got fired today

And I'm takin' A-rod

-Joe Torre

Celebrity Haiku Volume #3, "-------"

To mime the wind

One becomes a tempest

I REALY hate mimes

-Marcel Marceau 3/22/23-9/23/07

Celebrity Haiku Volume #45: Rhino Rudy

Do not tell me you Democrats can't go up against this guy.

Romney, what Romney.

If all fails, invoke 911.

"R" in name only.

-Rudolf 'Roooodie' Guiliani

Celebrity Haiku, Vol.#34: Adios MF

No recuerdo,

Te dije que, no sepa,

Adios,tú putas sucias.

-Alberto Gonzales

Al, we hardly knew ye, hombre...

Celebrity Haiku Volume #36: I Gotcha Global Warming Right Here'!

Meet Me in Rehab

My New Prius Fuckin' Rocks!

My Dad's Such a Bore

-Al Gore III

Celebrity Haiku Volume #668, 'the next door neighbor of the Beast'

You must be Joking

I Looove them TeleTubbies!

Told 'em I was Sick.

Rev. Jerry Falwell

Celebrity Haiku, Vol.#18: Spring Training Edition

私は最もよい beyocthes によ



ってストン示す私に moula をで



ある Red Sox を愛する



-Daisuke Matsuzaka

Go Red Sox; Yankees Suck.