Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Anyway, kudos, Big Dog...
The cockiest,dirtiest, most irresponsibe group of athletes in the world. Will do anything just to be able to tell his teammate a great story in the locker room. Live the dream until they are 35 and then realize they never made it. Ladies love us, guys want to be us, we are the soul of the universe.
You lace up the skates, strap on the helmet, put on the gloves, and walk on to the ice and nothing else matters. It doesn't matter that you failed a test, your girl is being a bitch, or that you got a ticket on the way there.... your world is absolutely perfect for the next couple hours.
So heres to face-offs, goals, assists, breakaways, going top corner, going 5-hole,overtime, cold rinks, early mornings, late nights,on the road, new skates, practice, puking, thousands of dollars, dangling D-men, end to end rushes,big hits, broken twigs, packing bombs, dropping the mitts, wheelin' broads,coaches, adding the letter "y" to the end of everyones last name,the word "fuck", pick up, tape to tape,let downs, miracles, and most of all-the game of Hockey.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
'Just last month, he pronounced, for the first time, the word seven. "We were working on some really interesting things," Pepperberg said'.
Norman Hsu is a naughty boy. We all know this. As Larry Craig, soon to be erstwhile Idaho Senator and men's room densison, would say, he's a naughty, bad, nasty boy. Hong Kong born, later US naturalized, Hsu has had a questionable record during his meteoric rise to riches. He has been linked several times with organized crime, and even worse, has donated tens of thousands of his dirty dollars to Democratic political campaigns, notably Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. News of Hsu's sketchy, though lucrative endorsements, leaked recently, causing mad scrambling and rapid distancing from parties involved. Hsu was dropped like a smoking hot plate of fried rice and all the money given to the respective campaign coffers were promptly and sanctimoniously donated to charity. A spokesman for the Bush administration almost was reached for comment, but then remembered the 2001 Inauguration, when standing behind the president, a'smilin' and a'wavin', was Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling, who donated 100 grand or so themselves. I don't remember which charity that $ was donated to.
Deja Vu All Over Again
It was 1978. Baseball's All-Star break had just come to an end, and the Red Hot Red Sox had a seemingly insurmountable 14-1/2 game lead over the uber-evil New York Yankees. Confidence was at an all time high in Beantown. But alas, in September, after an horrific July and August, the Red Sox found themselves at a virtual tie with the Evil Empire. Because of a schedule anomoly, it came down to a one-game play off between Boston and New York to see which team would go on to the playoffs, and the World Series. In the end, it was a diminutive shortstop, named Bucky Fucking Dent who did the Sox in, homering over the Green Monster after being served up a pumpkin-sized Mike Torrez curve ball. Sox fans would have to wait another 8 long years before having their hearts ripped out in the playoffs, a la Buckner, 1986 and Mookie Fucking Wilson.
Today, the Red Sox find themselves 5 games ahead of the contemptible clouters from Gotham. Only the Tampa Bay Devil Rays stand between Boston and a 3 game series against the Yanks. Please, does anyone know the Heimlich Maneuver?!