Dear Professional Athletes,
Please stop doing that annoying thing you do every time you get a score , or a touchdown or something. You know, the thing you do where you point up to the sky, presumably to ME, and are all like, "yeah, you my home-boy God, You 'da Man"! I really HATE that! I mean, I did Invent sport and all, professional and amateur, and I do enjoy a good game of ball now and then. But, I mean, I DO have other things going on. There's this war going on, and a really big Hurricane season, if you haven't heard. There's this Bird Flu thing I'm trying to avert, and that Osama Bin Ladin, Jeepers Creepers, what a handful! I don't have the time to be pointing and high-fiving every time you do what you are payed millions of dollars to do. I am NOT your Dog, Dog!
So just relax. "Gooood Joooob"! There, are you happy? Now I've got a Democracy to help establish in the Middle East. Enjoy your game.