Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Joke of the Week 4/23/08

Submitted by Chip from Orrington, who is busy practicing his Turkey calls as we speak.

Two ladies talking in heaven:

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you ?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went t hrough every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

PS, that just reminded me of a quick one:
What did the girl from Aroostook County say after Sex?
A: 'Get offa me Dad, you're crushin' my cigarettes'!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

This Time, The Revolution Will Be Televised...

Haven't submitted any crap to the ol' Blog in a while; have been in Helsinke Switzerland, in a Residential Facility, getting the help I so desperately need. Anyhow, in the mean time, in the spirit of the Election season, here is an old Chesnut from Gil Scott Heron. Power to the people right on!! Say it loud: I'm a Sufferin' Bastard and Proud!!!