Joke of the Week: 'Right up your Kilt'

An all-time classic

So there was this old Scotsman, we'll call him Tonto MacTavish, who had been drinking and carrying on at an old fashioned Ceilidh in his village. Being a Scot, he had had a wee too many drops of the Crater, and at a certain point in the evening, felt the need to lay down somewhere and rest his weary bones. He heads back to his home, but in his inebriated state only makes it to a big Oak tree along-side the road. He lay down and falls asleep aginst the tree, legs akimbo, kilt half-hiked up, a drunken mess.

Soon, along comes two bonney Lasses leaving the party, on their way home and in a fine festive mood. They approach the sodden Scot, and one says to the other, 'I wonder, Bridgett, is it true what they say about a Scotsman going bare under his kilt'. Unable to qwell their curiosity, the girls lift up the Scots festive Mackenzie Plaid kilt and find that sure enough, only the man's dingus to be home there underneath. So amused by the sight one of the girls took the blue ribbon from her hair and tied to the kilted man's member as a prank. Then they sally forth on their way.

Next morning, the hung-over man awakes to natures call, rises fom his rest and goes sloppily to the bush to relieve himself. When he lifts his kilt to take a leak, he sees his shaft festooned with the blue ribbon left there as a present. Incredulous, he looks left, he looks right, then down again to his mini-Mac. He then says,

(wait for it)

'Me'lad, I doon't know wheeere ya beeen, or what ya beeeen doooin', but sur'n I'm mighty proud that you won fuuurst prize'!!!!