Say it ain't so, K-Fed

(Associated Press)Dateline: Cootersville, La.

I really thought those crazy kids had a chance at love. But it wasn't to be so.

I opened up the Bangor Daily this morning(all the news that's fit to line your birdcage), and before I could get to all the exiting election news, I was stunned to find on the celebrity section that Brittany Spears, erstwhile Mouskateer, turned pole dancer, was filing for divorce from her 'long time' mate Kevin Federline, AKA K-Fed. I know, I know. I was as shocked as you. You could have knocked me over with a feather when I read the news. In this crazy, jaded, cynical world of American pop culture, one doesn't expect that these 'celebrity marriages' will last. But I for one, and I'm sure I'm not alone, thought that those lovebirds could stand the test.

Was it the stress of raising two small children under the unblinking eye of People Magazine et al? Was Brittany jealous of K-Fed's skyrocketing rap career? Reports had circulated over a bevy of groupies at recent WWE appearances he had made. Rumour also had it there has been friction coming from K-Fed after the "Booster-Seat-Gate" incident last year. One never knows. It has been recently speculated that Brit wanted 'Fed' to start sporting an old-fashioned Mullet, like all her old boyfriends used to do down in the Bayou, which, of course he vehemently refused to do, because it would interfere with his new 'Gangsta' image. Hard to say, but I, for one, would love to get a peek behind the velvet rope to find out what the real deal is. One thing I do know is this: If those two kooky love-birds couldn't make it work, then what does that say about the rest of us? It makes you stop and think, dud'nit?