'Twas the Night Befo' Christmizzle', a Holiday Poem by Snoop Dogg

Mr. Dogg is a frequent contributor to SBL#178

I know it's a bit early, but what with all the Humidity...

T'was the night befo' Christmas, and all through the Hood,

T'weren't no Pimpin', no Bangin', no, it was all good,

Now the dead bolts were hung by the front door with care,

With my Glauk by my side in my big easy chair,

Me and my Boo, and a big bag of Chronic,

We had just settled down for a nice Gin and Tonic,

When out in my front yard arose such a Clizzle,

I jumped up from my chair to see what was the Dizzle,

What did I see out in my front do',

But a fat man in red and Eight tiny Ho's,

I could tell right away that the man was a pimp,

By the clothes that he wore and how he walked with a limp,

He had gold in his grill that looked like a retainer,

I thought for a minute he was Cedric the Entertainer,

In his mouth was a crack-pipe just like Dwight Gooden,

And a belly that jiggled just like Jello Puddin',

On his head was a Kango, on his neck a Gold Rope,

I could tell right away the M***r f***r was Dope,

He blew on his Crack-pipe and the Ho's they got busy,

Laying presents on my ass until I just'bout got Dizzy,

Then he shouted out loud so his Ho's they could hear,

And he made a Peace sign and said, 'Bitches we outa here",

"On Keesha, LaTreesha, on LaWanda, on Whitney",

And some little white girl I think he called Brittany,

They got back in his Benz and they rolled out of sight,

Out in the streets of a dark Compton night,

But I heard him exclaim, the night air, it did fill,

"Merry Christmizzle to all, and to all stay well Chilled".