Say it ain't so, Santa...

I just got done watching the 1964 television classic by Rankin/ Bass Productions, 'Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer', for approximately the 50th time. I think I might have missed it a few times in the eighties, because
I was at swinging Holiday parties, but now I own the DVD, and have made up for lost time. However, after all these years, I feel I have been repressing a lot of things that have always bothered me about the show, namely that it is a cesspool of exclusionism, homophobia, male-chauvanism and Eurocentric Colonialism ( okay, I don't actually know what that last one means, but I bet it applies).

I don't know, maybe it's that I'm emboldened by the recent Democratic take over of the House and Senate and the demise in credibility of the Republican Military-Industrial Complex. Maybe it's that, deep down, I'll always be a whiny, Boston Irish Catholic-type Liberal Democrat (a la Whity Bulger). In eithe case, I'm compelled to speak out now, out of conscience. For example:

Exclusionism/Diversity- just because Rudolf's nose was, how'd you say, exceptional, he was categorically excluded from all reindeer games, not only by his innocent peers, but also with the complicity of all the adult reindeer, who enabled the pattern of discrimination to continue. Santa himself, was responsible for perpetuating this pattern by encouraging his underlings (Donner) to hide Rudolf's 'non-conformity' in order to maintain status quo, and keep the 'Santa' corporate machine chugging along, squeaky clean image intact. Only at the last second, when the threat of an impending storm threatened to cancel the Greedy Bastard's Christmas Eve campaign, did he have a token change of heart, and invite Rudolf to guide his sleigh. How patronizing can you get. Suddenly, everybody in Fucking Christmas-Towne realise they had been 'hard' on the misfits. Really.... Here's what I would have said if I was Rudolf: 'stuff it up your big red bag, you big fat hippo-cryte. If you think you and your kind are going to drive me out of town like a Leper, then when it's convenient for you, all of a sudden make nice, and expect me to just go along for the ride, you must have visions of fucking sugarplums dancing in your fool head. You can buy a fuckin' Ever-Ready to light your way, because you can count me out'!

Homophobia- okay Hermie the Dentist: let's honest with ourselves. He's gay. Gayer'n aLiza Minneli and Cher concert. Look, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, as Seinfeld would say, except in the cold corporate world of Christmas-Towne. The inconvenient truth that Hemie wants to be a 'Dentist' (Hellloooo..metaphor...anyone?) is completely lost on his Elf straw boss, who is obviously a henchman for Santa and a fierce guardian of the dominant paradigm, a la Donald Rumsfeld. This insensitive bastard insists that Hermie's dreams of singing show tunes on Broadway...errr, no, I mean being a dentist, are bad and unnatural, and he should stick to 'making toys' like all the other Elf boys. Again, only at the bitter end, when his affiliation with Rudolf makes it convenient for him to be accepted, is he appreciated for what he truly is.

Chauvanism- I paraphrase from Scene#36, when Yukon Cornelious crashes over a cliff along with the Abominable Snowman, apparently to his certain demise: 'well, they were all very sad at the loss of their friend, but they knew that the best thing to do was to get the women back to Christmas-Towne'. Hellloooo. How paternalistic can you be? Considering this animated film was made in the mid-sixties, at the height of civil rights rennaisance, lines like these are an obvious slap in the face to the Feminist movement of the day. Come on! Earlier in the film, when going to look for Rudolf, Donner told his wife, in no uncertain terms, that going to 'rescue misfits' was 'man's work'. Come on. Who was it that, out of all the residents of Christmas-Towne, saw something in Rudolf that was unique and good? Clarise, that's who. A woman. And what happened to her? She was instantly shut down by her abusive ogre of a father, who forbade her to see any more of Rudolf. Indeed. As if any Reindeer Doe doesn't have the right of free association in this day and age. This is just another example of how the dominant power structure of the North Pole keeps down women and minorities.

Oh there's so many more examples of the aggregious nature apparent in this insensitively anachronistic animation by Rankin/Bass. Don't even get me started on Yukon Cornelious, who's main goal in life was to exploit the indigenous population of the Upper Arctic (Christmas-Towne) and it's rich natural resources of Silver and Gold (Siiiiiiiiilver!). Or don't get me on the subject of the talking snowman narrator, played by Burl Ives. Despite the fact that Mr. Ives was then a famous Folk Singer, thus a known Communist, he sang about the virtues of Silver and Gold as decorations, not as material treasures to be exploited, while at the same time he lauded the efforts of Santa and acted as spokes-snowman for the Uber-Capitalistic delivery of toys on Christmas Eve. What a big fat snowy phoney!

Oh there's more examples, like that whole 'Island of Misfit Toys' angle. What a crock. But alas, don't get me going. I say something needs to be done. I was talking to some aquaintences at the University Peace and Justice Center, and we're contacting not only NOW, but the Rev. Jessie Jackson. I don't know what he can add to the dialog, but he's alway availible to jump right in these situations. I think a boycott is in the works. Just don't ask me to give up my 40th anniversary DVD edition of Rudolf just yet. I will be forbidding my kids from watching it , though, you can rest assured. I suggest you do the same.

Anyway,

Happy Christmas,...oh Jees, I'm Sorry. I meant 'Happy Holidays'.

BFC