United Nations Calling...

(...ring...ring...ring....)

"eeloo, Iranian Presideential Palace, lady of 'de house speaking".

Hello this is Kofi Annon calling from New York, may I speak with Mr. Mahmoud Ahmadinej...Ahmadin...Ahmad.. Damn!, can I speak with Mahmoud please"?

"I'm sorry, I think he's down in the Uranium Enrichment chamber right now, is it important"?

"Oh yes, very, could you tell him it's Kofi Annon from the United Nations; it's about enriching Uranium for Nuclear Weapons..."

..."Okay, just a sec',...Maaaamooouuud!!! It's some guy on the phone from New York!! Something about Coffee! I think it might be a salesman"!!!

"Allah be praised woman, I told you not to bother me when I'm refining weapons grade Uranium!! Oh all right, put him on for Pete's sake"!

Helooo, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad speaking, how may I help you"?..

..."easy for you to say, look Mahmoud, this is U.N. Secretary General..."

"Yes I know who you are Mr.Annon, how can I help you"?

"Well, you see 'Moud old buddy, me and some of the guys on the Security Council are getting worried about rumours going around that you might be enriching Urani..."

"Hold on a sec', could you speak up, I can hardly hear you over the roar of my Uranium Enrichment Machine! Let me take you off speaker phone"!

"Look 'Moud, I was talkin' to President Bush and he's very concer..."

" No, that's no better, let me put you on the portable phone. There, now I'm leaving the Hyperbaric 'Uranium Enrichment 'Chamber now. There, I can hear you much better".

"Look, now that's just the thing I wanted to talk to you about".

"What"?

"Enriching Uranium"

"Enriching what"?

Uraaaannnniiuuum!! Now look Mahmoud don't be coy, we know you're up to something, and we think you're fixin' to start up a Nuclear Weapons program"!

"A Nuclear Weapons program?! Well geeeet you!"

"So you're not trying to enrich Uranium to made nuclear weapons"?

"Nooot at aaaalll"

"But you're enriching Uranium"?

"Sure...."

"For...."?

"For my Hot-Tub dude"!

"Hot-Tub"?

"Yeah, Hot-Tub. That Uranium gets 'er hotter an' steamier'n Tehran on a tuesday during Ramadan". Can't beat it".

"So we at the U.N. have your assurances that y...."

"Hang on K, I got a call ont other line, it's Kim Jon Il".... Kim!. Dog how you livin'? Yeah, the Uranium enrichment is going just fine; I'll tell you all about it...but hey wait , let me put you on hold'.... " Hey Kofi, I gotta run...Kim's on the other line, wants to ask me about my 'Hot-Tub', knowhatImean? Hey I'll have to talk to you later. And hey, don't sweat the Uranium thing, 'kay? Are we good? 'Kay, ciaou babe".

(BeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeP)

"Hello, ...hello.... Mahmoud..."

"Damn"...