Salad Days Volume #43 "The Mongoose"

It was the best of times, it was the best of times. It was, once again, some time in the early to mid '80's, I was still in my natural prime, and a real swingin' johnson. I was working with old Uncle Frank for the ZVI Construction Rolling Thunder Revue and General Contractors in Downer's Grove Illinois, just outside of Chicago. We were remodeling these young women's clothing stores called "Show Off", and the boys were really in fine form. You see, these stores were mainly staffed by all these young ladies from about 18 to 25, very slick and professional, wanting nothing to do with us big, burly, smelly construction worker types. They all pretty much figured we were shit-house crazy; a very astute observation on their part. The other subcontractors weren't to damn sure about us either. Needless to say, we were usually afforded a 'respectful distance' by all involved while working.

Anyhow, Frankme and us boys used to have a penchant for pulling practical jokes on the job-site. It got us through those long tedious hours standing between us and 'beer-time'. One of our favorite gags was the old 'Mongoose' routine. The old mongoose routine went a little like this: Frank had bulit this contraption that resembled a rabbit hutch, with one end open with a bed of straw, and one end closed off with a little door leading to a little hidden compartment. On top of the 'hutch' was a large door. Simple enough, right? However, we also had a large spring attached to the door and a large fake racoon tail, secretly attached to the door, sticking out of the 'den'. Set up complete, the gag went like this. Word would get around that the boys from ZVI had a pet Mongoose on the job. "A Mongoose"?..".Holy shit, yes, a vicious mongoose, it'll tear ya' limb from limb", etc. Meanwhile, a few of us would all stand around the hutch that held our vicious 'mongoose'. We'd poke the cage with a stick, bang the top, and make a general commotion. "Watch out, it'll bite, keep your hands back", etc. Sooner or later, a small crowd would gather 'round the 'dangerous mongoose' we had caged up on the job. "How novel"!

Thus, when we had a sufficient number of suckers gathered, on of us would trip a lever attached to the spring, that was attached to the string, that was attached to the raccon tail. The racoon tail would shoot like a rocket out of the cage at about 60 miles per, and even though it was only a fake tail, our acting was so sublime and the power of persuasion so great, that it actually seemed to them that a bloodthirsty mongoose was shooting out its cage to take a big bite out of their collective asses. Grown men squealed like little girls, young women peed their pants, and one time this electrician ran, backwards, up an 11 foot ladder. Worked every time! What a show! Frank's Rolling Thunder Revue strikes again.

To think, I could have been working.